Why your communication is unclear (and how to fix it!)

so as you already know communication is
truly at the core of Effective People
management and so that's why today I
thought it might be helpful for you if I
shared some of my observations where I
feel like managers make some mistakes or
some trip ups when it comes to
effectively communicating with their
team members as well as share with you
some of my tips for overcoming that so
if that sounds like something that's
interesting for you then definitely tap
on that like And subscribe button and
let's get started hey there friend
welcome back to the channel and if
you're new around here well my name is
mac and I'm a leadership coach but I
actually work specifically with
first-time team managers and helping
them to become effective leaders so
today like I said I want to talk about
communication because of the fact that
it is core and fundamental to truly
being an effective leader and also
paired with that because of the fact
that it's a struggle for so many of us
you know I know that it's a struggle for
new managers that I work with on a
regular as well as very experienced and
executive level managers that I also
work with on the a regular you know both
struggle with this and so I thought I
would talk about some of the common
places that we all kind of trip up in
and kind of my tips to help you get
through it so let's just Dive Right into
this and I will say that I'm going to
share quite a few tidbits in this video
so if you normally don't have a pen and
paper if you're watching me definitely
grab one because I'm going to be walking
you through a couple of things that I
think will really really help you just
up level in your communication so the
first kind of like trap that a lot of
people fall into is being heavily
reliant on asynchronous communication
right so as you already know
asynchronous communication is
communication that's not necessarily
happening in real time conversation
right so the replies are delayed and so
this could be like text based or message
base email Etc that's all asynchronous
communication and what I've noticed is a
lot of managers rely way too much on
this especially for my conflict adverse
managers out there that would much
rather sit behind an email and send a
team members something rather than
having the conversation need a need
which is probably much better for the
situation and the second thing that
makes this one such a challenge for a
lot of us is that a lot of us grew up in
this age of like social media and
text-based communication as someone who
is a millennial myself like all I do all
day is like text message my friends
instead of picking up the phone and
calling them so I get it it's so much
easier to just text somebody right
without non-verbal communication it is
so hard to truly understand someone
because of the fact that it's missing
tone it's missing context it's missing
body language which of course as we know
is scaffolding for proper communication
yet we rely on it all the time now I
think the reason why we're able to kind
of get away with text best text based
communication with our friends and
family is because we know them really
well we kind of like already can see
their body language and like hear their
tone when we're talking to them but even
that can be a little bit dangerous I
mean just the other day I was like text
messaging my best friend who I've known
literally since I was five and I said
something to her and then after I read
it and I thought oh I think I might need
to explain this a little bit more and
give her more context and this is with
someone that I literally known since I
was five years old I felt compelled to
give her that extra like little
seasoning in the message and so I think
it's really important when we're dealing
with people that we don't really know
that well I mean maybe you know your
team members really really well but I
think for the most part we don't know
them on an intimate level like we do our
family and friends and so we need to
give a little bit more attention to
asynchronous communication when we are
choosing to use it so a couple things
here that I want you to think about when
it comes to utilizing asynchronous
communication and this is the part that
I want you to like pull out your your
pen and paper for I want you to ask
yourself before like choosing this
method of communication asynchronous
communication I want you to ask yourself
the following questions number one
what's the
urgency of this message number two
what's the complexity of this message
number three what's my relationship like
with the people that I'll be
communicating with and number four will
the outcome of this message require body
language and tone or those are the four
questions I really do want you to
actually think about before you just
rush into utilizing that mode of
communication when maybe another mode of
communication is much better suited for
what you're trying to get across the
second kind of challenge that a lot of
people experience when it comes to
communication is engaging in what I like
to call drive by communication it's so
fast it's like did that really even
happen
that's what I like to call drive-by
communication and I think we've all kind
of either engaged in it or has we've had
it done to us where you know someone is
telling us something of importance on
the weight of something else or they
tell us something of importance
um in the middle of another topic or
maybe we have told someone something uh
without giving them the proper context
or the necessary information that they
need in order to make a decision in
order to take action on whatever it is
that we've just told them this type of
drive-by communication I think happens
in really quick environments where
things are happening so quickly it's
like information is being thrown at you
without giving you like the proper
context or necessary information that
you need in order to do anything with it
and so here's the thing I want to tell
you like it's so it's so harmful to do
that to somebody because of the fact
that without like I said that necessary
information it makes it so that your
message is unclear and it it can cause
even conflict and frustration because of
the fact that the person who's receiving
the message doesn't have like the full
and necessary information to do
something with what you've said so it
causes them frustration but also it
causes you frustration because of the
fact that you're sitting there like I
don't understand what was so hard about
what I just said you know what I mean so
we do not want to like as a rule of
thumb we do not want to be engaging in
any sort of drive by communication with
anybody it is so so harmful so here is
something that I found to be incredibly
helpful to me when it cut when it came
to really making sure that my
communication was clear and that it was
succinct and exactly what that person
needed as much as possible right because
I mean nobody's communication is
absolutely perfect but this is what I
use to help me make sure that at least I
was trying the best that I could not to
engage in this type of drive-by really
frustrating communication with people so
this is another point where you'll need
your piece of paper so what I want you
to do is actually just bucket out your
communication into a couple of chunks
okay so you want to think to yourself
and here are a couple of questions I
want you to ask yourself number one what
are the common types of communications
within our team
number two how do I want to convey
important and Urgent Communications
number three how will I communicate
routine Communications
number four how will I communicate
contextual information
number five how will I communicate fyi's
or decisions and number six what is the
frequency of my communication
so what I find helpful about like asking
myself those questions and then
bucketing out my communications is that
it gives me kind of a mental model to
work within
because here's the thing when
information is coming at you as a
manager really quickly you want to be
able to like Channel out that
information to your team in a quick
manner but it needs to be proper right
and I know that a lot of like
communication gurus will tell you that
you should
really plan out your Communications and
that is really good advice it's just
that when things are moving quickly that
is not so realistic let's be real so
what I found to be incredibly helpful is
having like a mental model or mental
framework to work within ahead of time
so that I knew immediately okay so this
is a common type of communication that I
usually have with my team and so when I
hear this from like an executive and I
need to relay that information to the
team I'm going to use this mode and this
is how I'm gonna say it right because I
already had it planned out so it makes
my kind of prep time it cuts my time in
half because I'm already working within
a framework I'm already working within a
mental model to help me ensure that my
message is clear you know what I mean so
that's why I'm encouraging you to really
think through those questions and then
bucket out your Communications as well
as like how you're going to communicate
those those buckets of communication so
that it's always super super clear
speaking of which if you like to work in
Frameworks if Frameworks are your thing
you'll definitely want to check out the
new manager accelerator program because
in my program I help all of our team
managers work within Frameworks like
this to ensure that most definitely
their communication is clear so if you
want a little bit more on that
definitely check out the link in the
description box below to see if the
accelerator program would be a good fit
for you and your goals as well so the
next kind of communication challenge
that a lot of us struggle with its
managers is only communicating when
something goes wrong so a lot of us fall
into this like mistake or trap because
of the fact that like honestly when
things are going well sometimes it's
like what are we to talk about what is
there to talk about right but this is so
wrong because we should also be
communicating when things are going
really great you know I got called out
on this many times
um because I was guilty of this I think
the number one thing I was guilty of
when it came to communicating was only
communicating when things were wrong it
was really really bad but that is
definitely what I did especially when I
moved into senior leadership like I
didn't hear a lot of complaints about
this portion of my communication until I
moved into senior leadership when I was
in front line I didn't hear those
complaints but I know that a lot of
people like a lot of the front line team
members used to complain to their
managers who were my direct reports that
I was the type of person that would like
only come to their team meetings and
have something to say if something was
wrong and that I did not necessarily
communicate or highlight when they were
doing things that were right and it was
true and when I sat back and really like
reflected on why I did that not that
it's an excuse but I'm a huge person and
trying to figure out like why did I do
this what's causing me to do this and
when I thought about what what was
causing it
I noticed that it was because of the
fact that I'm a huge like Problem Solver
like I'm always trying to think about
like how do we solution this so at the
top of my mind all the time are the
problems that's all I'm ever seeing it
I'm not saying that I don't appreciate
the hard work and effort people put into
solving problems but once the problem
solved I'm like all right what's the
next thing and so I really had to adjust
my mindset on that and hold on to this
aspect of being a problem solver because
I think that that's such a vital skill
but also recognize that I need to
communicate and close the loop when
problems are actually solved so that
people recognize that I truly do care
about the effort
um and their skill set and all the
things that they're bringing to the
table in order to solve the problems
that I've surfaced so if you know you
are kind of similar where you are often
seeing the problems and so you're moving
on to like the next thing and the next
thing and the next thing before like
closing the loop and just thanking
people for what they've done you'll
definitely want to remember to close the
loop because that is definitely one of
the things that really frustrates people
and it's I totally understand why they
were frustrated by it but I'm just
letting you know that's definitely
something that can make it so that your
communication is unclear so the fourth
thing that I've noticed that causes a
huge challenge challenge for Effective
and clear communication is that managers
are overly concerned about what other
people are thinking which actually ends
up making their communication unclear so
interesting how that happens so I think
I've told you guys in the past that my
mentor and manager was actually a
colonel in the Air Force right and I
remember at one of our mentorship
sessions when we were talking he was
relaying a story to me where I think he
was talking about the student Pilots
that's what it was he was talking about
the student pilots and how you know
during their simulations they had their
checklists like basically memorized they
knew exactly what to do but as soon as
they got into like the actual plane and
they were sitting next to someone that
had like substantial Authority they
would like forget how to do things like
they would forget how all of a sudden
how to put their landing gear down all
these things that they absolutely knew
in their bones when they were just
sitting in the office right and he said
to me the moral of the story Mac because
he always was telling me stories and
then he would like wrap around and give
me the moral of the story and so you
said the moral of the story is that it
is pretty much possible for you to fly a
plane effectively if you're constantly
thinking about what the other person is
thinking
and so he said for you in your role as a
manager it's going to be virtually
impossible for you to truly and
effectively lead this team to the best
in your capacity if you're constantly
worried about what other people are
thinking
and I remember again sitting and just
reflecting with that and thinking yeah
he's absolutely right so I want to ask
you now as a reflection point right when
you are engaging in these important
Communications right whether it be with
your team or upper management or
whatever what are you thinking about in
that instance like are you thinking
about what you're communicating and the
best outcome for that message or are you
thinking about how confident you sound
if you sound articulate if you sound
smart like what are you actually
thinking about because I guarantee you
if you're thinking about all those other
things like what you sound like then
it's probably very true that you're
probably not giving that message the
best of the best that you could so yes I
want you to have an adequate level of
care for the way that you sound most
definitely because I do recognize that
that has uh quite a bit of bearing on
the way that your message is received
but I want you to have more care for
what you're actually saying than the way
that it sounds because I know that there
are a lot of gurus again and a lot of
people out here that are just talking
about how you can sound like a leader
and how to have executive presence and
how to sound confident and how to sound
articulate without really getting to the
Crux of the matter which is your message
and your message is most important
because let me tell you if I cared a
whole lot about how I sounded and
whether or not I was articulate or
whether or not I sounded like a leader I
would not be doing this YouTube videos
today I just wouldn't be I would be more
wrapped up in my head about how I sound
because I've never been that much of a
confident communicator and not so much
like thinking about the impact it's
going to have on people so what I ground
myself in all the time is the impact and
not necessarily about how articulate I
am I mean yes I care and I try really
hard to make sure that my message is
clear so that you guys are like taking
from this but I can't like concern
myself too much about whether or not I
have executive presence and whether or
not I sound like confident and all that
stuff because what I truly care about is
that what I say my message hits you
and then it it encourages you and that
it inspires you to make a change that is
what is important to me and so I have a
lot of thoughts about this
in terms of how to just like focus in on
your Communication in terms of like on
what's most important and so if that's
something that you would like to learn
more about like if that's a topic that
you're interested in definitely leave
um a comment in the comment section
below and I can definitely expand on my
thoughts on that because like I said
I've seen some videos just floating
around on YouTube that really kind of
irked me because I feel like it's not
focusing on the right thing so if you
want to hear my thoughts on that as well
as like how I do it
um definitely let me know in the comment
section below okay so that is it for
today's video in terms of like I said
the four places where communication can
get a little bit icky and kind of my
tips on how to deal with that I hope you
had your pen and paper like I said
throughout it because I did share quite
a few questions I wanted you to reflect
on that will then help you build out
some Frameworks for yourself in order to
like effectively communicate better with
your team all right if you enjoyed this
video definitely do give it a thumbs up
and don't forget to subscribe if you
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videos that are super helpful I believe
anyways for team managers every single
week on this channel and I would not
want you to miss any of it all right my
friend thank you so much for being here
with me this week I hope you have a
fantastic rest of your week and I'll see
you in the next one