De-escalation Skills Training for Customer Service & Employees

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hi I'm Dr Jeremy Pollock I'm an applied
social psychologist and workplace
conflict specialist and today I'm going
to go over a powerful three-step process
to deescalate 10 situations with
customers co-workers or friends before I
do please subscribe to this channel for
more tips and techniques on conflict
resolution and
deescalation let's talk about
deescalation when people are escalated
that's angry frustrated upset they're
not in a place where they can
effectively resolve conflicts conflict
resolution often requires creative
problem solving collaboration compromise
these higher order executive functions
happen in a particular part of the brain
an emotionally escalated person is
literally operating in a different area
of the brain the fear and anger centers
very different regions from our creative
problem solving areas so to problem
solve with someone who is emotionally
escalated we have to First deescalate
which means we have to literally help
them shift from one brain region to
another so how do we do this to
deescalate we first need to clearly
understand what tends to escalate people
the three most common sources of
emotional escalation are someone feels
unsafe they feel disrespected or they
have a problem and they feel like the
person they're talking to doesn't care
so that's a real or perceived lack of
safety lack of respect or lack of care
when we're talking about customer
deescalation techniques the last one is
typically the most common source of
customer escalation in other words
customers get angry and upset most often
because they're coming to a customer
facing representative with their problem
but it seems like the rep doesn't really
care imagine if you had an issue with a
product or a service that was really
stressing you out because it was
affecting your life in some greater way
as is usually the case with the
customers who are upset for example a
web server customer can't get her
website to work which affects her
ability to do business an appliance
customer didn't receive his new
refrigerator on time and now he has no
way of keeping his family's food from
rotting over the weekend A Bank customer
can't withdraw money from her account
account which literally affects
everything in her life and they go to
the customer service agent with her
issue but the agent responds very
robotically without much compassion or
empathy maybe gives a very weak apology
but it's obvious the agent doesn't
really care about the greater or deeper
stresses in their lives this issue is
causing how angry and frustrated would
you feel many of us have had this
experience and it's the easiest way to
escalate a customer situation so if the
most common source of customer
escalation is a lack of perceived care
then we have to help the customer feel
that we do care if we want to deescalate
here are a few powerful steps to
deescalate customers by showing we do
care about their issue and the stress
it's causing number one listen and
repeat whatever you hear from the
customer before responding or trying to
resolve the issue first repeat back what
you heard them say this form of
validation is an incredibly powerful way
to help someone feel heard and cared for
and it could immediately help an
individual calm down in fact Studies
have shown that empathic paraphrasing
can actually regulate negative emotions
in someone else and not only does repeat
eating help the customer feel heard it
also helps you ensure you've heard them
correctly so it gives them a chance to
correct you if not here's what it might
sound like from a customer service rep
so you ordered with expedit shipping but
it hasn't gotten to you yet and now your
oven isn't even functioning and you
can't cook dinner for your kids or oh
wow okay so your neighbor stays up all
night and watches TV loudly and you can
hear it through the walls again just
repeat or paraphrase back what you heard
now step two empathize and apologize
empathy is not just a feeling you have
it's a feeling that you clearly Express
beh Behavior l through tone and Body
Language if you're face to face then
your facial expression and even hand
gestures should contain emotionality and
whether you're face to face or not your
vocal tone should contain emotion as
well this lets someone know you're there
with them in the issue not simply an
outsid or looking in empathy helps
people feel like they have a partner or
a teammate rather than feeling so alone
in their problem and with customers
specifically apologies go a long way but
they need to be authentic they need to
be hurt apologize for what they're
experiencing or going through or
apologize for anything you could take
take responsibility for on behalf of the
company just don't apologize for
someone's feelings as that can sound
condescending the first two parts
together might sound like this okay so
you ordered with expedited shipping but
it hasn't gotten to you yet and now your
oven isn't even functioning and you
can't cook dinner for your kids wow my
gosh I'm so sorry this is happening I
really apologize for this delay I can I
can only imagine how stressful this is
or oh wow okay so your neighbor stays up
all night and watches TV loudly and you
can hear it through the walls H this is
so frustrating you must be exhausted I'm
so sorry using tones and words that
expressed emotions related to stress
frustration or aggravation can again
really help the individual feel heard
and understood so by now feeling heard
and cared for most customers should feel
at least a bit calmer than when they
started and a little bit more ready to
find a solution so now it's time for the
final step reassure and resolve you want
to reassure the individual that you're
in this with them that they're not alone
and that you're not leaving until you
can actually resolve the issue or find
someone who can so for example okay Jane
I'm going to stay on with you until we
find a solution that works can we take a
look at your account or okay Tom I'm not
the right department to get this taken
care of but I'm going to stay on with
you until we reach someone in the right
Department I'm not going anywhere or Dan
how about if I go talk to your neighbor
and see if I can help and I'll get back
to you by 3 p.m. whether I reach him or
not to give you an update does that
sound like a good first step remember to
get to problem solving we first have to
deescalate and that means helping
someone shift out of their fight or
flight centers and back into their
problem solving beinging their creative
regions we can do this by helping them
feel safe respected and for customers
especially that we care about their
problem and their deeper life stresses
it's causing care is the key to
deescalate customers thanks so much for
watching Remember to hit the like button
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friends and colleagues for more
deescalation information or to get your
customer or vendor facing team trained
in deescalation techniques go to PO
peacebuilding
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