Top Leadership & Psychology Skills

[Applause]
middle management
is the hardest job in any organization
um uh because when you're junior
your only job is really to do your job
that's it and you get trained how to do
your job i mean you all have to be
licensed and go to school and learn how
to do the job of
being an accountant and if you're really
good at it
um you eventually you get promoted and
you eventually get promoted to position
where you're now responsible for the
people who do the job you used to do but
the problem is they don't give us any
training how to do that
you know and senior people are thinking
about entirely different things they're
thinking about the firm
thinking about strategy and the problem
is so you have this middle group
that's in this sort of weird mix where
they're not
they're they have to be strategic but
not majority strategic
and they they have to be tactical but
they're not majority tactical
and they have to translate what's going
up here to down there and down here to
up here
and and most things break in the middle
because i'll meet
firms where the leadership's amazing and
they're visionary and they care about
people and they
want to do the right thing and then i go
down to the front line and they're like
yeah this place is the worst
and so i'm like what happened between
here and there and it's the middle
most things break in the middle and so i
think there are two there are two
there are two factors one is we don't
train people how to lead
right so as i said before when you were
junior we
have to know what to do we just do our
jobs we'd be good at it and as we become
leaders in this middle management we're
now transitioning to this
job we're now responsible for the people
um who do the job we used to do
but nobody is teaching us listening
nobody's teaching us communication
skills nobody's teaching us effective
confrontation
nobody's teaching us how to give and
repeat receive feedback
nobody's actually teaching us leadership
so this is why we get managers and not
leaders
and like you would never ask somebody to
do
anything in accounting without showing
them how to do it ever
bad idea right so why on earth do we
think that we can just promote someone
to a leadership position and expect that
they know what to do without showing
them how to do it so that's problem
number one
is is that is the the total vacuum
in some cases or or just really minimal
amounts of leadership training
and it needs to be robust the other
problem that i
come across very often is i get some
really wonderful
self-taught leaders in middle management
they're reading books they're going to
conferences themselves
they're watching ted talks i mean
they're students of leadership
they have mentors i mean they're really
making a go of it and they complain that
the
the senior management all they care
about is is the quarterly earnings
and so the problem we have there is
they're trying so hard to do the right
thing
but management really doesn't care so
that's the opposite
right um and in those cases i i
generally recommend that they the the
right thing to do
i mean quitting is always an option but
that's not the not necessarily the best
option or the first option
but uh i always recommend to be the
leader you wish you had
which is i get the question it is one of
the if not the most common
question i get which is what do i do
when i'm trying to do the right thing
and and my boss or my boss's boss or my
boss's boss's boss
um just don't get it you know all they
care about is money before people
and and the answer is you can't control
what you can't control so worry about
the people around you worry about the
people to the sides of you the
level below you even the level above you
and you be the leader you wish you had
and what you start to find
in those pockets is these magical little
diamonds in the rough appear we we
worked with a large
a large technology company and we worked
with a group uh
where that's exactly what we did we we
developed this whole leadership thing
just
for this this little group in the middle
and yes they started to do better and
their numbers went better and the group
expanded and blah blah blah all the
things you'd expect to happen but one
thing we didn't expect
is that the phone started ringing off
the hook
from other people in the firm asking
can i get a job in your group because
when the people who worked in this group
would go for lunch with their friends
who works in other groups
you know how's work today amazing
different stories different stories and
all of a sudden words spread across this
80 000 person company
and this is only a group of 150 people
words spread across this 80 000
person company that everybody was trying
to get into this group just because it
was they wanted to work in it because
you had good
i was writing leaders eat last
i got to the point where i couldn't do
it it was
it was too difficult i i couldn't i
couldn't organize all the information it
was just too complicated i
i couldn't do it and i'd been trying for
months i've probably missed multiple
deadlines
and i was sitting at my computer and i
decided that i had to give up i couldn't
do it
and so i got up and went for a walk and
i was literally planning
my exit um i was going through the steps
i was going through the checklist of
quitting
i knew that i have to give my advance
back to the publisher because
technically i'm in breach
um i knew that i would be humiliated
but i was preparing myself for it and
that i would get over it i was also
rationalizing that it was okay to quit
i told myself there are thousands ten
thousand books
published every single year no one will
miss this one book
and i literally went through the steps
to prepare myself
for what i had to do to quit i'm not
sure why i did this
but i called a friend of mine who at the
time was in the air force special forces
and i don't even think i said hello when
he picked up the phone
i simply asked the question what do you
do when you can't complete the mission
and as is his habit he just started
telling me a story
he was a helicopter pilot and
they had a mission in afghanistan that
was
um a suicide mission all the
intelligence
showed that the air defenses were just
too great
and none of them were going to come out
alive
and it wasn't going to be one of those
kill hitler missions where
we're all gonna die but we'll kill
hitler this is like we're all gonna die
and the mission will also fail and he
was preparing his helicopter
for this mission um and his wingmen
turned him and said
what do we do we've got wives we've got
kids
do we refuse to go what do we do
and my friend turned him and i said this
is what we signed up for
we go he asked me he said
is this book more or less powerful than
start with why i said the
research has impacted me greater it's
more powerful he says all right i'm
going to tell you a funny story
before i met you i'd become
disillusioned with the air force and i
was gonna quit
and i found this kooky little book
called start with why and it completely
re-inspired me
and i decided to stay and i'm a better
leader now than i than i was before
because of that book and if you're
saying that this book
is more powerful than the first one then
we need this book he said
this is what you signed up for you have
no choice
clearly his mission was scrapped
at the last minute the underlying
message of
this is what you signed up for you have
no choice wasn't a mean message the
underlying message was
and i will be here with you the
underlying message was no matter what
you can call me at any time
i've got your back and that's the
important part
i turned around went back to my desk and
finished writing that book
not that night i mean it took me months
but
but i never thought of quitting ever
again as soon as i knew
that someone was there someone had my
someone had my back there's too much
debate
about what's the difference between
vision and mission
right there's no standardized
definitions of these things some people
have one of them some people have both
of them
nobody is sure which one goes first
uh and i'm not willing to step into that
debate i think it's silly
um and so i i
i believe in the just cause which is
this affirmative statement of a future
state that does not yet exist
that i will commit my business to help
build right
you can call it vision if you want but i
like the term just cause
because it holds a higher standard it's
a cause so just
that i would be willing to sacrifice for
it
sacrifice could mean um turning down a
client that's free money
it could because they don't believe what
i believe sacrifice could mean
spending time away from my family it
could mean taking business trips it
could mean turning down
a job somewhere else that could pay me
more money because i want to do this i
believe in this
and if any of you have vision statements
for your businesses
if you have a just cause a cause so just
that your people would sacrifice for it
i have a test it's a very simple test of
three things
that if you can pass all these three
things you have a vision you have a just
cause
worthy of gay playing in the infinite
game
right so i'll run through them quickly
and i'll explain them
your vision your just cause must be
resilient it must be inclusive
and it must be service oriented okay so
resilient means
that your vision your just cause can
withstand
cultural political or technological
change
right which means when i hear people say
to be the best technology
well that's not going to sustain through
technological change think about how
many businesses went like this
simply because the internet was invented
right so
it has to your cause has to be written
in terms that is durable that is
is resilient through technological
political and uh
and and cultural change that's number
one number two it has to be
inclusive which means it's the very
words that you choose
are an invitation to those who believe
what you believe
whether they're internal or external
right they're an invitation to anyone
who wants to contribute to what you
believe
so for example if you talk about um
to build the best travel website let's
just say
right um that means the only people who
would want to volunteer to be a part of
it
are people who build travel websites or
people who build websites that means if
you're an accountant
if you're somebody in back office if
you're somewhere in the support you've
literally
made me feel like a second-class citizen
in my own company
right so it has to be written in terms
that anybody no matter what
job they play feels like they could
contribute directly to that clause
so it has to be inclusive and the the
third one is my favorite one
is it has to be service oriented in all
relationships there's always a
benefactor and a contributor a
contributor and a benefactor
so if i go to my boss for advice career
advice
i expect that her advice to me will be
will benefit me
right i want to be the benefactor of
that contribution if they're giving me
advice
if she only gives me advice that
benefits her career right well that
means the primary benefit of her advice
was her not me so service orientation
means that the primary benefit goes
to those other than the contributor
so if you're the leader that means the
primary benef benefit of leadership
has to go to those other than the leader
themselves you cannot make decisions
to enrich yourself you have to make
decisions to help those
uh that you lead now you absolutely can
make money you can absolutely have
ambition
those things are fine but not as the
primary benefit
right a salesperson cannot make a sale
simply
to drive their own bonus they have to
make the sale to help the person get
what they're trying to buy
the primary benefit if you're an
investor the primary benefit of your
investment
the primary benefit of your investment
has to go to someone other than yourself
i.e the company you're investing in and
if you're the company the primary
benefit of one of your companies sells
the primary benefit has to go to those
other than the contributor which is
yourself
means it has to go to the customer it
has to go to the client
so your your vision statement needs to
pass all those first of all
uh there's a you have to know what the
definition of introversion extroversion
are
right socially awkward is not i know
socially awkward extroverts
right it's not if you're uncomfortable
it's not social awkwardness that's not
introversion
i like in terms of it's susan kane's
definition it's it's about energy
which is um an introvert loses energy
from social interaction an extrovert
gains energy from social interaction so
an introvert wakes up in the morning
with five
coins every social interaction they
spend a coin at the end they are
depleted
an extrovert wakes up with no coins
every social interaction they get a coin
and by the end they feel rich
like going to a party they give them
energy go versus going to a party
sucks your energy so then i'm an
introvert right so i'm a big introvert
right and um what i have learned is it's
i have a big personality but i'm still
an introvert so
what i've learned is that it doesn't
matter which one you are the question is
how do you leverage what you got
right and so i go to parties with an
extrovert
right because that way they can do all
the talking and i can just stand there
and just eat the cheese
that is fantastic by the way you can
always spot me you can always tell
you you go to a party with me and you
will see me standing in corners
or or or lingering by the when there's a
barbecue i'm always the chef
because then i don't have to talk to
anybody right
but but if you notice i've learned to
leverage what i have so it makes me a
much better public speaker
to be an introvert because i don't like
holding court it freaks me out
but i like talking to individuals so
you'll notice when i speak i talk to you
and then i talk to you and then i talk
to you and i give everybody a whole idea
or a whole thought which actually what i
learned
helps me actually connect with an
audience much better but it's because
i'm an
introvert so if you're an introvert of
course you can be a leader it has
nothing to do
some of the best leaders have you ever
heard of jim senegal most people haven't
because he's awkward and shy
he's a phenomenal leader he's the
founder and pharmacy of costco
right like there's phenomenal leaders
richard branson
introvert he's really awkward right
um uh like these are phenomenal
phenomenal leaders who are all
introverts
right but the one thing they all have to
have in common whether you're
extroverted introvert is
undying belief in your cause right
it's the and the charisma is not how
much energy you have the charisma is how
much you're willing to devote to that